Big Changes Short Time 6.24.07

In less then a week my world has completely changed yet again. Since my last posts I have come to a realization and made a very hard decision. In order to give my body the best chance of beating this disease I have decided (with Serena's support) that I will no longer work in the hospital setting. I only worked 2 shifts last week, a 4 hour ER shift and an 8 hours shift in Radiology. Both shifts were easy and without incident, but were very hard on me physically. Just getting up and down reaching across a table and so forth. My fear is that at any time I could "Over do it" wearing myself down or hurting myself worse.

Friday night I tried to sleep lying on my side. It was nice once positioned on the bed. It felt good not sitting up and being off my back (the only way I can sleep). However after just a few minutes I felt a couple of my ribs crunch and my pain has been intense ever since. (2 oxycodone every 4 hours helps... really helps, not to mention the Mojito I had with dinner).... but that is how fragile my ribs have become...

......... back to not working, the reasons why this decision was so difficult to make.... is that I am finally admitting "I can't do this by myself". Like I mentioned in an earlier blog, I have been called stubborn. Even with my Dx. and the prognosis that comes attached I planned to continue working while I received treatment and continue my life without pause. That is no longer possible and I will have to start reaching out for support beyond positive thoughts and prayers.

I want everyone to know it is 9:18 am Sunday morning and what has been typed above is done by a person who feels good. The changes Serena and I will have to make without me working will suck, the fact that it will not be long until I have to sleep in a recliner will suck, the fact that at this time we don't own a recliner and I will have to go "shopping" (shopping... that may be worse then cancer) stinks as well, however it does not depress or distress me. It is just another step in our fight.

On a lighter note I have been taking Chemo for a week without much to write about. Other then having a little fatigue, slight muscle aches, and some not so pleasant but not to bad lower GI statements everything is going well. I will have blood work done on Monday to check for changes in my blood cells. Not the abnormal plasma cells floating around causing havoc (those little shits) but my red and white blood cells. One of the sever side effects of my chemo medication is what it can do to your normal blood cells. besides that my body, actually my skin is often hot, very hot but without me running a fever. When I go to bed and throughout the day I place freezer packs wrapped in a hand towel against my neck, legs or stomach. Also I don't think my deodorant works as well now.. not sure why that is, but that is about all there is to say on my treatment..

On a refreshing side..... I have been know to sample a nice lager, porter or Ale on occasion. Serena and I both enjoy Red wine and would open a bottle once every week or two. I did not drink often or much before I became sick and even less since. Now that being said....... I brewed beer yesterday with my friend Kevin. It is something we had talked about for over a year. It will be a summer ale ready for consumption the beginning of August. Just throwing that tid bit out there so people know I am not confined to the house... it takes me a little longer to get around, but i am still around......

Keep smiling........